Why do parents arranged marriages




















For some poor families, the marriage of a daughter to a man who is better off is both a way of giving her access to a higher standard of living than they can offer and a way of securing a nest egg in return for a dowry. Some young women who have sought and received assistance from workers in shelters for victims of violence were still underage when their parents married them off to men much older and richer than themselves. These were girls from countries in Latin America or the West Indies whose parents, because of their extreme poverty, "sold" them, in return for cash, to French-speaking Quebecois men.

I have in fact taken in several women who were forced into marriage. There were two cases that really struck me. The first was a girl from a country in the West Indies. She was 13 years old at the time and was forced to marry a year-old man.

He was a Canadian francophone Quebecer who went on vacation to a country in the West Indies. He met the girl. He asked a friend from Quebec who was there whether he knew her and so on, and ultimately the man went to see the girl's parents. He offered them money. So that was forced, in my opinion, in the sense that the family, which was very poor, was in economic need. There was one condition in the marriage contract, which was that the family asked the man not to touch the girl sexually before she was 15, which he did not abide by.

We believe that steps were undertaken for her immigration and the husband sponsored her, brought her here and once that young girl was here she was subject to violence - sexual violence and physical violence. Respondent B. This respondent continued with a second case that disturbed her, similar to the preceding case, of another young girl from another country in the West Indies from a poor social and economic background, who was given in marriage by her family to a man from the North.

The man travelled to a country in the West Indies , he was a man who was well off financially, he was retired from the university, he had a good pension. He met the young girl when she was 15 years old and her mother accepted this marriage Cases of families who force their young girls into an undesired marriage to repair the "mistake" of pregnancy out of wedlock and thereby avoid losing face are also mentioned.

Several women who fled to battered women's shelters hoping to find protection from conjugal violence told social workers that they had been forced by their parents to marry the father of the child conceived out of wedlock. Those marriages took place in Latin American countries where the young women had had sexual relations with men with whom they were not planning to spend their lives.

When they found they were pregnant, they told their parents, who compelled them, despite their protests, to marry the father of the child they were expecting so that their reputation would not be damaged.

Violence ensues rapidly in these couples and continues when they settle in Canada. While the cases reported to us here concern Latin American families, it must be noted that this strategy of repairing a mistake to save honour is used by families in other regions of the world. Therefore socially, a woman who becomes pregnant must absolutely get married because of the family name, "what will they say", etc.

I met several women who told me during their stay here that they went through with a forced marriage because they had no other choice. Getting an abortion was unthinkable and going to live alone was impossible, so once the parents were informed of the pregnancy, right away it was "you have to get married"…. So, I'm talking about women from Colombia, Mexico, etc. We'll dig deeper and discover that it was a forced marriage because they were pregnant.

In areas of the world where arranged marriages are still popular, certain circles are moving toward giving the children more and more say in their partner. But that is only in certain circles. If you look at arranged marriages for any length of time, you see that for some women there is no choice at all. Arranged marriages often mean forced marriages; in many cases, the brides are under 15 years old, with countries like Niger and India having particularly disturbing rates of child brides.

These girls are often pulled out of school and isolated, left with no choices or opportunities. There are plenty of positive explanations for the low divorce rates of arranged marriages. Couples feel more inclined to work through issues and are more dedicated to each other. Mutual admiration develops. Your Privacy Rights.

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I Accept Show Purposes. Interestingly, this concept has been a part of our culture since centuries and still holds great importance in our society.

Many people opt for an arranged marriage out of choice and going by the statistics of a few studies, the global divorce rate of arranged marriage is quite low. Here are a few possible reasons. In an arranged marriage, you barely know your partner and take your own time to understand your spouse better.

You enter the relationship with minimal expectations, and both the partners observe things and make adjustments to make the marriage work. In fact, you accept the person the way he or she is, and do not get to complain that you dated a different person before tying the knot and he or she changed after marriage. You might be spoiled for choice when opting for an arranged marriage. Thanks to matrimonial apps and sites, you can hunt for the perfect partner online while sitting at the comfort of your home with your parents.

In fact, you can take charge of the entire procedure and look for someone who shares similar beliefs and moral values. But in a love marriage, you have no choice but to accept everything. Society is evolving and so is the concept of an arranged marriage. Couples prefer to meet multiple times before taking a decision and discuss their expectations from marriage. Not just this, even families are okay with a long courtship period so that the bride and groom can get to understand each other better.

They understand you, your needs and also the complexities of this relationship much better. At the end of the day, whether it is love or arranged marriage, you have to take a leap of faith and hope for a happy married life. Marriage is a gamble and there is no sure-shot way to predict its success. What matters is that no one should be forced to take this decision and should tie the knot only when he or she is ready.

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