Julie metz who is cathy

It seems that he might have been preparing to bring this topic up for discussion, but he ran out of time. In retrospect, Julie concedes that there had always been red flags about Henry's true personality and predilections for instance, she first met Henry at a party that he had attended with his then girlfriend , but that she locked herself in a "bubble" and ignored them.

Two years ago, Julie told her daughter Liza then 11 about her father's affairs. I think she understands that, while Henry was a flawed man, he loved her deeply. She has told me that she's proud of me and we have a good and close connection. Today, Julie happily lives in Brooklyn with her partner Will. She writes in Perfection that, "I continue to work on forgiveness. I do not, however, wish to forget any of this. I no longer believe in the "perfect," once-in-your-lifetime "soul mate". Rather, I see that life is full of unexpected twists and turns and that you might connect with a number of people on your journey.

Has she been able to salvage any good memories from her relationship with Henry? If she had a chance to talk to Henry today, what would she say -- or do -- to him? Julie thinks for a moment before answering. But now I can say that I would thank him for the life I have now. This doesn't mean that I am happy that he died -- I could never feel that for my daughter's father. Just that I am glad to have been able to have a second chance.

Coming to terms with all these experiences gave me that chance. In early , graphic designer and freelance writer Metz heard a crash in her suburban New York house. It was her husband Henry, collapsing from a pulmonary embolism. In the first months following his death, the author carried on raising their six-year-old daughter, Liza, while grieving and starting a relationship with Tomas, a friend of the couple.

The irony that the author fails to acknowledge as she describes her efforts to uproot the adulterous secrets was that she and Henry had a largely unhappy and unloving marriage. Her claim that she ultimately let go of blaming Henry seems disingenuous, since the legacy she leaves both readers and her daughter is this vapid, mean-spirited record. If the authors are serious, this is a silly, distasteful book.

The authors have created a sort of anti-Book of Virtues in this encyclopedic compendium of the ways and means of power. Everyone wants power and everyone is in a constant duplicitous game to gain more power at the expense of others, according to Greene, a screenwriter and former editor at Esquire Elffers, a book packager, designed the volume, with its attractive marginalia.

We live today as courtiers once did in royal courts: we must appear civil while attempting to crush all those around us. These laws boil down to being as ruthless, selfish, manipulative, and deceitful as possible.

Quotations in the margins amplify the lesson being taught. Jesse Kornbluth: Terrible things happen, but few of the victims write books. How did you come to write "Perfection"? Julie Metz: I like writing letters, and after my husband died, I started writing long, sometimes frantic e-mails to friends who were worried about me. I saved them, and they became a journal. So I wrote a book I needed to read. I can't imagine your friends and family were wild about the idea of contacting every woman your husband slept with.

Did anyone support you? I didn't ask for opinions, I just did it. There was no other way to find out what had happened in my marriage. Was it cathartic to write? Cathartic and at times excruciating. They're aware of it. Your daughter is now What have you told her about the book? We've had many conversations about her dad and the book and how she feels. She hasn't read it. It's a book I wish I'd had at the perils of the charming man. Are you being too hard on yourself? In the book, your husband was an Olympic gold medalist at messing with your head.

He was really good at that. I wish I had been able to see what was happening. I do think he loved me; he was just really complicated and very flawed. Christina Clancy. Author 2 books followers. This book sounded interesting to me: the memoir of a woman who discovers her husband has a secret life I wanted to learn about his secrets and kept turning the pages until Metz uncovered them for me. But after that, I didn't really feel like I cared enough about Metz to keep reading the predictable trajectory of her ultimate forgiveness and acceptance.

Her husband seemed duplicitous but interesting, while Metz does not. If anything, she makes such a point of disavowing the suburban life and the "bucolic small town" she once chose to live in that I began to feel like I was someone she would make fun of if she ever met me in my Dansko clogs.

I realize that a memoir is supposed to be confessional and revealing, but the confessions in this book made me sometimes cringe in embarrassment for the people she wrote about, and I felt especially bad for her husband, who is not in a position to defend himself not that his actions are defensible, but wouldn't this be anyone's worst nightmare -- to have your secret e-mails and private thoughts laid bare for even strangers to read about?

I never thought I'd be one to complain about too much information in a memoir, but I felt that way while reading this book. Metz seems to want to take the higher ground when it comes to relationships and love, but is writing a memoir about infidelity the way to get to this higher ground?

Or is it a form of revenge? All I know is that I didn't like the way I felt after I read this. As a married chick I have a morbid fascination with tales of adultery and betrayal and I'm clearly biased towards the wife.

Good grief, how do you take a story so rife with drama and make it this painfully boring? I mentioned that to a friend and her comment was 'maybe that's why he cheated'. Yes, we're mean. But not necessarily wrong. Nothing to new to see, learn or experience here. Geez Louise. When I read the blurb of this book it's a memoir of a woman who, after her husband's sudden death, discovers that he was a serial cheater , I thought, "Huh.

She has a six year old daughter, who will one day read this book. Not very nice for little Liza. Odd choice for Mommy to make. And read it. In this book, Julie Metz logs, in great detail: her fights with her husband. Her sexual adventures including sex with a married man before marrying Henry. Henry's affairs, including graphic email exchanges.

Her shrieking rants to the Other Women. Her pretty yucky sexual relationships after Henry dies, all unhidden from her confused and grieving daughter. Her ugly attitude toward the small daughter of Henry's longest-running affair formerly her daughter's best friend.